toothpast:

turkeystuffer:

tatehorror:

Your tongue doesn’t fit comfortably in your mouth

you’re right, maybe it would fit better in yours

that was as smooth as fuck

chocolatequeennk:

haliasjane:

inbetweenfictionandreality:

"I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters."

 A novel by me

"I read the whole series in less than two days, and now can’t separate the events of individual books" the thrilling sequel

"I’ve read so much fanfic for this series, I can’t remember what really happened in the books" the stunning conclusion

b0mbb:

c-hange:

super-who-lockian:

rawrxja:

"I saw this elderly gentleman dining by himself, with an old picture of a lady in front of him. I though maybe I could brighten his day by talking to him. As I had assumed, she was his wife. But I didn’t expect such an interesting story. They met when they were both 17. They dated briefly, then lost contact when he went to war and her family moved. But he said he thought about her the entire war. After his return, he decided to look for her. He searched for her for 10 years and never dated anyone. People told him he was crazy, to which he replied “I am. Crazy in love”. On a trip to California, he went to a barber shop. He told the barber how he had been searching for a girl for ten years. The barber went to his phone and called his daughter in. It was her! She had also been searching for him and never dated either. He proposed immediately and they were married for 55 years before her death 5 years ago. He still celebrates her birthday and their anniversary. He takes her picture with him everywhere and kisses her goodnight. Some inspiring things he said;"I was a very rich man. Not with money, but with love""I never had a single argument with my wife, but we had lots of debates""People are like candles. At any moment a breeze can blow it out, so enjoy the light while you have it.""Tell your wife that you love her everyday. And be sure to ask her, have I told you that I love you lately?"Be sure to talk to the elderly. Especially strangers. You may think that you will brighten their day, but you may be surprised that they can actually brighten yours.”

This is beautiful.

I cried.

this is wonderful and amazing and one of the reasons i volunteer with old people

gossipgran:

i hit rock bottom like every 2 weeks

cryonetics:

snorlaxatives:

*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*

What a turn on.

armadillo:

WHERE DO ACCENTS GO WHEN PEOPLE SING